This just in!
That fiendy guy, Barack Obama, drinks orange juice!!
Yes, it's true. Hardballers Chris Matthews and David Schuster excoriated Obama for requesting orange juice instead of coffee at a diner in Indiana. Thank God for journalistic integrity.
Orange juice. The choice of homophobic Anita Bryant. Orange juice. Lack thereof results in scurvy or rickets. Orange juice. The fluid in which mothers of yore foisted repulsive cod liver oil on their kids. And don't even get me started on O.J. Simpson!
The big question is, of course, whether Obama was wearing his American flag lapel pin while he drank the controversial beverage. Huh? Huh? Am I right?
And then there's this: With which candidate would you prefer to sit down and shoot the breeze over a tall, cool orange juice, eh?
Stay tuned for more late-breaking, in-depth coverage of Election 2008. Count on the Clothesline to dig a little deeper. It's what we do.