Side by side

March 07, 2008 by barbara

barbara says

I am now live-blogging the video link Paul provided. It's Junior endorsing Saint John. Funny how Junior manages to be the alpha male in this piece. Saint John plays George to Junior's Gracie. And btw, anyone notice that Junior seems particularly antsy these days? What's up with that?

So Junior blesses Saint John's candidacy and being. Saint John is . . . a saint. Junior knows him, respects him. Says he and Mrs. Junior have even spent time in Saint John’s home. (barbara says: So have house flies.)

St. John says Junior is someone for whom he has great admiration, respect and affection. (barbara says: Praise the lord and pass the barf bags!)

Saint John says he was proud to campaign for Junior's election and re-election. (barbara says: Not only does he not know much about economics, he does not know much about Diebold.)

Saint John appreciates Junior’s service to our country. (barbara says: After Junior’s great escape from military service, this has manifested itself how??)

"I intend to have as much possible campaigning events and, uh, together as is the keeping of the president's heavy schedule." (barbara says: Saint John is channeling Junior-speak.) Oh, la, how jolly. There’s more!

When Obama and Clinton called to congratulate him, Saint John promised them a respectful campaign based on the issues. (barbara says: {{{ snort }}} )

Junior and Saint John are asked by a journalist how Republicans will deal with Americans’ expressed desire for change. Seizing control, Junior reminds them he said in 2000, "Vote for me. I'm an agent of change. In 2004, I said I'm not interested in change. I want to continue as president. Every candidate has got to say change. That's what the American people expect. And the good news about our candidate is that there'll be a new president. A man of character and courage." (barbara says: Oh, I see. That WOULD be a change.)

Junior continues: "But he's not going to change when it comes to taking on the enemy. He understands this is a dangerous world." (barbara sighs.)

Junior says he understands we need steadfast leadership. (barbara says: "Because we haven't had that for eight long, tortured and torturing years.")

Junior says John will find his most important job as president is protecting the American people, and there's still an enemy that lurks. (barbara says: There is, John, and he's standing right next to you. Be afraid. Be very afraid. Booga booga!)

McCain says: "Thank you, sir. I don't have anything to add." Ripple of laughter from the press. (barbara says: That John. What a card!) Junior does not allow a follow up question. “Asks” Saint John if he’d like to call on Kelly. Saint John calls on Kelly. (barbara says: Ah, jeez.)

But wait! Kelly comes through. She asks how much Saint John will want Junior campaigning for him, given Junior’s low approval ratings. barbara says: Junior slides his finger under his nose, which must be a baseball-like signal to trot out the “I want my beloved Junior by my side” sound bite again. St. John does not disappoint.

Junior’s advice re: Saint John’s VP pick: “I’d tell him to be careful about who he names to be head of the selection committee.” Titter amongst the assembled. All remember that as selector-in-chief, Cheney crowned himself Junior-in-waiting. Re Saint John: “Uh, look, look, he’s got plenty of experience. He knows what he needs to do.” (barbara says: Which is why Junior talks over him and tells him what he needs to do. He allows Saint John to nod agreement. And then he allows him to speak. There is not a visible doggie treat.)

Saint John floats a benign one-liner. Asked whether, given the presence of an African-American (booga booga!) and a woman (booga booga!) in the race, Republicans needed to factor that in to their VP choice, Junior intercedes, once again saving Saint John from speaking for himself and steering him to what he must say. Junior emphasizes the importance of focusing on The Big Guy in the Big Chair.

Must keep America safe, keep taxes low, intones Junior, blah, blah, blah. The person in the Oval Office is responsible to “have a culture that respects the dignity of every human being.” (barbara says: Ahem! Start a list. Migrant workers. Guantanamo prisoners. Democrats. U.S. attorneys. Children lacking health care insurance. The poor. The middle class. Residents of New Orleans. Iraqi citizens. Maimed soldiers. Walter Reed patients. Etc.)

Asked whether Junior’s help could hurt rather than help Saint John, Junior waxed eloquent. “Look, look, ih, ih, ih, if it, if my showin’ up and endorsin’ him helps him, or if I’m against him and it helps him, either way, I want him to win . . . but they’re not going to be voting for me. I’ve had my time in the Oval Office. It’s been a fabulous experience, by the way. (barbara says: “But enough about me, what do you think about me?”

And then, the piece de resistance: Junior says this race is all about America’s hopefulness. (barbara believes that qualifies as grand larceny and Obama should press charges immediately.)

Junior says he’s going to sprint to the finish and that he really means it. barbara worries what, exactly, that might mean. Junior says that if Saint John wants his pretty face standing beside him at one of these rallies (barbara says: I thought it was a press conference. Silly me!), then by golly, he's in!

Junior displays raw power by saying to individual journalists, “No, I’m not callin’ on you. No, not callin’ on you, either.” Neener neener. He’s lookin’ for Wolf. Where’s wolf? (Yes, you heard it here first. The man who cried “Wolf”! Wolf asks in which states Junior can help most by campaigning for Saint John.

Saint John interjects four or five words. Junior continues to talk over him. Saint John suggests Texas. Smiles and laughs. Oh, that funny, funny guy. Junior says Texas is in the bag.

As his closing comment, Junior smacks down press that were unruly (read: did not follow BushCo talking points). Takes Saint John under his right wing (okay, it was the left, but what kind of metaphor is that?!) and heads back inside.

Dear Republicans: The party’s over . . . . pass it on.

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Comments

paul miller (not verified) | March 7, 2008 - 3:19pm

you have to wonder if bush were to try and sabotage McCain's chances what more could he do - poor McCain, still sucking up after 8 years -- he sure made a point that the president has a busy schedule -- seems like bush has nothin but time to campaign for his poodles

A recent book on Bush said that he never dances -- lucky us Mr. Intransigence* relents on the one thing we wished we would never see -- kind of a hands dancer more than anything

*intransigency
bullheadedness, pigheadedness, self-will, stubbornness, obstinacy, obstinance - resolute adherence to your own ideas or desires (thefreedictionary.com)

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miller, paul (not verified) | March 7, 2008 - 5:46pm

sorry about the back to backs but check out this comment from boy king's economic advisor at the daily press briefing:

CHAIRMAN LAZEAR: We are always worried about inflation, obviously. It's always a concern. The inflation numbers that we've seen have been primarily a result of energy and of food. That doesn't mean we ignore that, because people have to buy energy and food. The reason that we tend to be less concerned about that is because it doesn't predict the future as well.

IT'S JUST ENERGY AND FOOD THAT ARE GOING THROUGH THE ROOF??!! What else is there?? What future are these stooges looking at?

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susan | March 7, 2008 - 7:03pm

Jeez Paul, you don't get it. Due to mortgage scams and foreclosures, there's no roof left for energy and food costs to go through, so they don't have to mention that. Silly.

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