A Clotheslineblog exclusive!

December 06, 2007 by barbara

barbara writes

According to the AP, George W. Bush sent a personal letter to Kim Jong Il of North Korea this week. But no one will reveal what George wrote. Doesn't do much for one's comfort level, does it?

The Clothesline is dedicated to bringing you the news in detail. We have succeeded in ferreting out a copy of Bush's letter, which follows in its entirety:

Dear Kimster,

See, in Texas, we like to use what we call nicknames for people and stuff. Do you know where Texas is? I’ll send you a map with a “you are here” star on it. Heh-heh-heh. Hey, you oughta come to Crawford sometime for barbecue and a brewski. Did you know that Americans voted for me because I’m the guy they’d really like to sit down and have a beer with? Partly, that’s because I look so good. Nice haircut. Not one of those spendy John Edwards deals. Mine are free. Heh-heh-heh. Y’all might want to think about, you know, kinda updating your look. Shooter says you remind him of a hedgehog. Laura says that’s not nice. I'll let them duke that one out. Click here to read the rest of Bush’s letter.

Anyhoo, since the Hillster was gonna be in your neck of the woods, I thought I’d send you this little note. F-sharp. Heh-heh-heh. See, that’s double entenderness. I learned about that when I was readin’ all those books last year. And I don’t mind tellin’ you I’m mighty relieved that Turd Blossom is outta here, because I was gettin’ all blooey-eyed from bookiness.

Let me just get to the point here, okay? You were dangerous, you are dangerous and you will be dangerous. No, wait. That's hairy-chest talk. You got hairy chests over there?

Startin’ over.

See, we kinda got our grundies in a bundle here in the White House when you did that nucular thing in October. Made Shooter testy. Doesn’t take a lot to set him off, know what I mean? We kinda tippy-toe around the place when he gets like that.

I'm thinkin’ it would be a good thing if you and your little buddies would just scrap the nucular stuff. Knock it off. Take it down. Put it away. Fugeddaboudit. See, that’s what friends do. We empty all the shells and holster our guns to show that we're bein’ straight with each other. It’s the code of the west. But you know what? Could work way over in the east where you are, too. Well, it’d be west if you went there by way of Los Angeles. I think. I need to look at that map.

Gotta go. Shooter and Condi and Bob want to read this before I send it. But I’m gonna seal it up before they can. I’m the president. I’m the decider. I can do diplicity as well as the next guy, see?

Have a good day over there in Korea!

George

And there you have it. Remember: you read it here first.

Posted in

Comments

susan | December 7, 2007 - 1:15am

Whoo-hoo, it's just heavenly having Barb back. Do we all agree? I know, you're not back, back, Barb, there's that cancer thing lurking, but still, it's great to have you posting again. You too, Perhansa. And Paul. But mostly Barb. Without you Babs there's no more CLB. I admit that I'm of fogged out by the horrendous state of everything and how many times and ways can I say that? It's been a long dry stretch and I have so missed you.

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paul miller (not verified) | December 7, 2007 - 9:14am

re: democratic counter intelligence

great job of getting inside Bush's pelt*, Barbara

here's the list of some of Bush's 60 (not 70) reads in 06, I can buy 60 books lifetime, maybe, but 60 in 06 from Camus to Kurlansky, not a chance:

http://www.usnews.com/usnews/news/articles/060817/17bushbooks.htm

*(Carl Spackler: "I have to laugh, because I've outsmarted even myself. My enemy, my foe, is an animal. In order to conquer the animal, I have to learn to think like an animal. And, whenever possible, to look like one. I've gotta get inside this guy's pelt and crawl around for a few days. ")

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barbara says (not verified) | December 7, 2007 - 6:37pm

Ah, Susan, thanks so much. ((((*blush*)))) It's good to be back, however one defines "back." Talk about having to re-up on my old Alanon stuff. (Okay, angel Mary, stop your grinning!) Obviously one-day-at-a-time has more applications than to the alcoholics in an earlier lifetime.

Paul, the Spackler quote is dead on, isn't it?! Gotta tell you that coming anywhere near the inside of Junior's pelt is very, very creepy! Hmmm. Alcoholic in my current lifetime, too? Frankly, I'm surprised so little attention is being paid to that. Dry drunk or using, there is much in Bushie that bears watching in light of his toxic history.

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Anonymous (not verified) | June 24, 2009 - 3:03pm

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