Dear Al Gore:

July 29, 2007 by barbara

Perhansa writes:

I’ve spent a lot of time reading up on global climate change but didn’t see your film, An Inconvenient Truth (which I received for Christmas) until tonight.

Damn it, Al.

If you’d shown just a smidgen of that humanness, humor, passion, and reason in the 2000 campaign, we’d never have had to live through the Bush I and II (aka The Invasion of Body Politic Snatchers). Read more.

Then again, maybe prophet of global climate change is your real calling. You just need a hair shirt and loincloth so the nay-sayers and obstructionists can say you’re a crazy, mad, lunatic imitating John the Baptist—“ignore him, he’ll go away.” (Did you really have to go through all those security checkpoints in the movie—don’t they know you by NOW?)

I feel really sorry for you, Al. All that weight you’ve put on traveling the world to bring your power point slide show to the masses to try and head off the impending doom of our miserable little species. Weight Watchers Al. The weight loss plan that calls for gradually boiling in a pot. That might be the only diet for a bloated, over-hyped, under-brained species. Then your son messes up—in a Prius, no less! Now there’s something REALLY worthwhile to talk about when they’re not talking about your energy footprint. You know. The one you leave flying around the globe attended by escorts in Hummers or hanging ten with Leonardo and Cameron.

You’re so persuasive, Al. Why didn’t you bury that little pocket gopher from Texas under a pile of his own shit back in 2000? You are a hundred times brighter, more articulate and more compassionate and a greater public servant than that little Crawford chicken shit. You should have been Luke Skywalker to Cheney’s Darth. What happened?

Perhaps Mother Nature chose you to lead the world to solve GCC. We DID undo acid rain and the hole in the Ozone layer, just like you said. Now you’ve gone and got me thinking it’s possible again—thank you. AIT was a not-so-subtle reminder that Rome and Paris and New Orleans and the Sudan are burning while Congress filibusters and the Neo-Conmen in DC execute their dastardly deeds in Iraq and points around the globe.

So many distractions—so little time. So many scandals—so little energy left to care for a feverish planet. In the meantime the filthy little lucre-grabbers keep gobbling up the money and the power like Pac Man and the MSM tries to compete with Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert (at least Stewart & Colbert are funny).

What we need is a SURGE—that’s it, Al. A surge strategy for Global Climate Change…a Coalition of the Willing to Save the Pale Blue Dot…Operation Cool Your Jet Stream…good god, I think I’ve lost my mind…

Damn it, Al Gore—don’t run for President—the planet needs you. You’ve restored my hope.

I’m going to the garage right now to paste a bumper sticker on my car: “Kiss my Prius!”

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Comments

Anonymous (not verified) | July 29, 2007 - 9:09pm

Why didn’t you bury that little pocket gopher from Texas under a pile of his own shit back in 2000? You are a hundred times brighter,

????

You are giving him too much credit.

He was not then, or now. He's found his calling. Phony climate issues.

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perhansa (not verified) | July 29, 2007 - 9:34pm

Pulling our strings again are we Anon??

At least Al's in good company with all the hundreds, sorry, thousand or so international climate scientists who agree with him and actually care about the impacts we are having on the planet. Unlike the dumb-as-shit pocket gopher from Crawford who wouldn't know scientific evidence if it hit him in his smart-ass face...and he wouldn't care either so long as he could get his dishonest, immoral silver-spooned ass away to some safe place (which would not be amongst the poor in New Orleans) with more like-minded folk like Michael Creighton. I'm sure they'd have a blast talking about creationism and holy wars and the coming rapture...But then you, the Chief-denier and all the other conspiracy theorists already know the debunkers and "junk" science radicals are mostly on the payrolls of the energy industry--Exxon Mobil being obstructionist #1). Probably believe tobacco doesn't cause cancer either, inhaling does, right?

You can be rather tiresome...why don't you find some reputable evidence somewhere before you weigh in? Or go kiss a Hummer...

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MLS (not verified) | July 30, 2007 - 4:11pm

Looks like anonymous is writing his (or her) comment again but personally I don't think it is worth 2 cents. On the other hand, Perhansa, your comment is priceless. Thanks.

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