Five simple truths

July 25, 2007 by barbara

Perhansa writes:

I’ve been trying to simplify. Like most Americans, I want some easy answers to the daily complexities of life in these dangerous times. And so I decided to identify some simple truths I can hang my hat on. I’m trying five of them on for size…

Simple Truth #1: War is good business.

The DJIA managed to top 14,000 late last week. We’re not getting out of Iraq. It’s an interim step to bigger and better invasions. Iran is next—or maybe northern Pakistan. Continue reading.

Dick (Strangelove) Cheney has made up his mind and W will do anything the Big Guy tells him to do before his term is up (assuming we can wrest the presidency away from BushCo) to try and salvage his irreparable legacy and fulfill god’s mission for him as world crusader at the end times. And, more importantly, the Big Economic Engine has to keep on rolling toward 20,000—no billionaire left behind!

Simple Truth #2: Polls and other people’s opinions mean nothing in times of revelation from the god’s.

W doesn’t give a rat’s ass what his poll numbers are…he’s the Decider. He has no respect for the other branches of government…he’s the Overseer. He doesn’t care if the Attorney General is an incompetent, bumbling idiot and a liar…he’ll be the Judge of that. God’s on his side. Joan of Arc is channeling through George W Bush. Obsessive fear-mongering, obstructionism, cronyism, illegality, lies, distortions, and secrecy—no problem. In the end, the means are justified when the enemy is a hateful infidel bent on destroying your hallowed way of life.

Simple Truth #3: We don’t elect people to represent us; we elect them to collect the garbage, handle the mail, and feed at the trough of the free market and we’d do the same if we were so inclined.

The Republicans in Congress will continue to stand by an administration (now into Nixonian territory) for fear of losing power and prestige; they don’t give a rat’s ass what’s good for the country—only about hanging on to what they’ve got. The Democrats are afraid to throw the dice and gamble on a “get tough, take-no-prisoners” approach to dealing with the growing corruption, war futility, and erosion of civil liberties, rule of law, and the Constitution—for the same reasons. Everyone’s gotta pay the mortgage and they have kids and escorts and lovers and “backers” to pay. This lifestyle has high costs (which is why the rest of us are not so inclined).

Simple Truth #4: Reason is overrated

During the “post-YouTube-debate” analysis from CNN “Situation Room,” Wolf Blitzer and his guest discussed the advantages Hillary’s pink outfit had over the dark-suited males competing with her. Al Gore was wrong to blame our problems on the “assault on reason.” He just doesn’t want to recognize the fact that we share a descendent with the Great Apes and our pre-fontal cortex isn’t equipped to overcome the more ancient and powerful animal mind and the emotional amygdala. Our inner ape is just shining through. Hillary’s pink outfit was a smart move. She appealed to our baser (truer) instincts and our unconscious attraction to bright colors and moving objects. The hairy-chest guys in the black suits with the limited emotional vocabulary just don’t get it. The weaker sex is the smarter of the two—it’s the CLOTHES STUPID!

Simple Truth #5: Simple Truth is a lot easier to explain to the masses (and to your family).

I feel so much better now that I am getting some easy answers to why everything seems so F****D up. It’s such a relief to have ANSWERS! It explains so much. The Law of the Jungle—Darwinian evolution—descent with modification—the reptilian brain—a KickAss God. I can stop worrying now. War IS peace. The pen must be defended by the sword. Diplomacy only works when you’re bigger and stronger and meaner than the other apes. We need to protect our “clan,” our genes, and our American WAY of LIFE! It’s all about getting our superior DNA into the next generation and our friends and family into the right eternal bliss.

That’s the world in which we find ourselves…reason, ethics, and morals be damned.

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Anonymous (not verified) | July 25, 2007 - 6:33pm

Dammit, Barbara, so simple and so distressingly true. Scheiss.


paul miller (not verified) | July 27, 2007 - 8:18am

ya think, "war is good business"? - more like, "war is our business. Chalmers Johnson estimates in "Nemesis" that the US occupies 29 million acres on its bases worldwide, feeding that baby takes some doing