Bong Hits 4 Jesus

June 27, 2007 by susan
Dumb, ugly american in flag shirt

And other idiocies.

Even when you thought it couldn't, it just keeps getting worse.

There's Dark Cheney declaring himself a hybrid -- he runs on one oily source of power (executive) until it overheats, then switches to another quieter source (legislative) when the regulators are on his tail.

And there's the Supremes, deciding 5-4 in favor of "free speech" for corporate and union giants, ie., billions of ad dollars on "issues" in the last days of a campaign, but not for a high school kid in Juneau, who held up a cryptic banner -- Bong hits 4 Jesus -- as the Olympic torch passed through his town. He wasn't on school property, but it was a school sanctioned event, so shuddup kid. (Why's the school sanctioning this sort of thing anyhow? Oh, silly me, sports rule.) Here's a glimpse of how the other side sees this. New England Republican writes:

"This case is distinguishable from the 1st instance because public schools are educational institutions where appropriate limitations on disruptive behavior are valid. The student in question even admitted he wasn’t exercising free speech as much as he was looking for attention."

And what, pray tell, are the corporations looking for? If only it were just a little attention. Like more, duh.

The Supremes also decided 5-4 in favor of gubmint money going to faith-based charities. Let's see, people's tax dollars shouldn't go to things they don't support, like stem-cell research or family planning, but should go to a religion (or war) they don't support.

For instance, bet you didn't know that the US Conference of Catholic Bishops administers three federally funded programs that provide services to human trafficking survivors. One is a contract from the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, and two are grants from the U.S. Department of Justice. Trafficking often involves children and sex, a combination the Catholic church -- oh, never mind. But you can be sure that these victims need access to all sorts of reproductive health service 41% of Americans believe that Saddam Hussein's regime had a part in planning and executing the attacks of September 11, up 5 points from September, 2004. And yes, I'm screaming.

Well, a majority of Americans also believe in Creationism -- all Americans, not just Republicans, who believe it in even bigger numbers. Hoo boy.

Remember when Nader supporters said it didn't matter whether Bush or Gore won in 2000? Tweedle dum and Tweedle dee? Well, we got Tweedle Dumb and it's easy to see why.

Well, why end on a low note? Today's NYTimes reports that more young Americans are "leaning left". That is, they support government run universal health care insurance, open-door immigration and the legalizationn of gay marriage, which to me means they're simply leaning smart. Or not. The poll also found that they believe that the war in Iraq is heading to a successful conclusion. Hey yeah dude, like, bong hits 4 jesus or whatever.

I'm having trouble finding a high note. Well, Justice Stevens is 87 years old -- but said to be in good health. 572 days to go.

Posted in

Comments

paul miller (not verified) | June 27, 2007 - 11:50am

you didn't mention the CIA "family jewels" release and bush saying Blair is not America's poodle (we never said he was America's poodle we said he is bush's poddle which is a nicer way of saying what he really is) lastly, will DC/GWB actually leave office in 572 days? let's hope so, eh?

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perhansa (not verified) | June 27, 2007 - 6:47pm

How long since Jimmy Stewart went to Washington? Zuzu says when the closing bell rings, the angels in heaven rejoice at the return on god's investment. Tell poor African women when their philandering HIV positive husbands want sex to "Just Say No". It worked so well for the War on Drugs. Bong hits 4 Zeus would have been okay--its the JESUS that got 'em screwed. Don't they know you can't link Jesus with bongs--he's no hippie man, dude what were ya thinkin? They use communion wafers NOT communion reefers...Try Buddha next time he's not real ya know and he woulda takin' a hit, dude. Ohm and pass the bong...Speaking of the creationists and "young earthers" Noah and his ship mates tending to all those animals and dinosaurs and bugs and birds and creepy things and all must have been quite the Carnival Cruise as they tried to eat each other and mount each other and crapping everywhere...when did these people sleep? Would make a great TV sitcom don't you think--kinda like Gilligan's Island (Five passengers set sail that day on an ark made out of wood, with dinosaurs and crocodiles and australopithicus...) or a reality show: Survivor--Noah's Ark!!.

Hey man, I didn't come from no monkey...

I feel myself getting stupider by the day...must be the water, something in the air, stupid vibes being sent across the airwaves, e-dumbness being downloaded across the WWW and uploaded into our brains. I just flew the cuckoo's nest...the night of the living deadheads...someone slap me--PLEASE wake me from this dream/nightmare/pitiless comedy. Dumb and Dumber in the BlackHole (fka WhiteHouse) and Dumbest in the voting booth...Pirates of the Carribean IV: Scumboats for Truth. Bong Hits 4 Truth...ya dude, maybe a good joint would make this seem like a better trip. Drop in drop out drop science...how come not ONE Gnostic author made it into the Bible? Let's teach the controversy, man. Thomas wrote a gospel and HE was a disciple...What about the Manichians? How come the Essenes got the short end of the stick? Come on man--this is a War on Other forms of Christianity! Let's take this faith based idea all the way man. How 'bout, faith based impregnation--no more SEX, period--virgin births only. How 'bout faith based cancer treatment? How 'bout faith based circumcision--let's start with the male Supremes in the group of 5. Close your eyes, pray, grab their Johnson and start whacking and hope that yur right with god...how 'bout we treat Cheney's ills by faith--no more doctors, Pat Robertson has to come lay hands on the Dickster (if he still has one after his faith based circumcision). Oh well, that bong hit 4 Al Gore wore off--back to reality.

Mr. Smith, PLEASE go back to Washington (and bring the man who shot Liberty Valence with ya)--I hear there's a lot of dark alleys in DC.

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susan | June 28, 2007 - 12:01am

Whoo-hoo, thanks for the riff Perhansa. Yep, dumb and dumber and dumber still. Is this a great country or what?

But did you know that the sitcom/reality show you envision, Noah’s Ark, has already been made and is playing at a theater near you now? And that it’s embarassingly inane—and was the top draw at the box office last weekend?

It’s called Evan Almighty, and because we have two 11 year old grandsons visiting us, and because an elected offical who shall remain nameless told us it was funny, we had the bad luck of seeing it.

Talk about your mixed messages—evil politicians and real estate ladies and scripture and environmental destruction and god and thousands of animals and tons of bird poop, and family values, and natural disaster, all mixed up in one tedious film, with poor Morgan Freeman (as god, of course) spelling out ARK in the sand, as in, practice Acts of Random Kindness. GET IT? Anyway, the actual phrase is that we should practice random acts of kindess, but RAK doesn’t work in a movie about Noah’s ARK I guess. GET IT?

You know the Iris DeMent song called Easy’s Getting Harder Every Day? Keeps going round in my head. Good night, and btw, our clothesline is suffering some tech difficulties, so we may be bumped on and off for the next day or so. Hope that’s all. Stay with us please, we’re not going away.

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