Happy Father's Day, ummm, Fathers' Day

June 17, 2007 by barbara

by barbara

Happy Father’s Day, dudes. Hope the weather’s good where you are. Hope your kids (little, big, bigger) can hang out with you today. Hope you like the tie.

I saw this short clip of Senator Jim Webb with his son Jimmy, who just returned from Iraq. Even though the clip is fiercely edited to fit a TV attention-span-of-a-gnat space, the easy warmth of that father-son relationship is pretty cool. I know. Cool warmth. Oxymoronic.

Fathers and sons. Big George and Little George. Wonder how that family celebrates this day. Wonder what kind of card Junior sent to Poppy: See what it says!

Hey, Poppy, it’s Father’s Day and I know how proud you are of me. For one thing, just look at those twins of mine. Aren’t they somethin’? They’re proud of me, too, by the way. So is Laura. I’m not so sure about Turd Blossom. Heh-heh-heh.

Anyhoo, I’ve carried the jut-jawed, Texas-twanging Bush thang to new heights. Remember how folks said I’m the kinda guy they’d like to spend time with, downing brewskis? I’m back in training because I don't want to disappoint those guys.

Someone just told me that a third of Americans are proud of me, too. Is that more than half? I think it is. I am doing one heckuva job. And Father’s Day seems like the right time to share that with you.

Remember how they used to call you wishy-washy? I reckon you’re mighty proud of me for my firm resolve in the face of reason. Kinda like when I was a little tyke being potty-trained, I’m having trouble letting go of my big ol’ war. Heh-heh-heh.

Well, Poppy, I know you’re old and prone to bawling about your boys. So I won’t go on any more. Just wanted you to know that the fruit of your loom didn’t fall far from the . . . from the . . . didn’t fall far from the, uh, Mexican border. What could make a dad prouder on Father’s Day?

BtW (get it??), I hope you like the autographed picture I’m enclosing with this card. It’s your Father’s Day present, see? You put it in a frame and show it off to your friends up there in Kennebunkport. No need to thank me.

Have a swell Father’s Day.

George W. Bush
President of the United States of America (heh-heh-heh)

(sigh)

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