Turkey Not Fake; My Bad

February 17, 2007 by susan

The Mail Room

by susan
The piece I posted here about my dinner with Al has picked up some steam and is making the rounds on the blogosphere. And alert readers from as far away as Australia have written to correct me on a critical fact. When I wrote that Al Franken actually sits down and eats his meals with the troops when he tours Iraq, as opposed to President Bush who only serves them a photo-op plastic turkey, I was wrong. It turns out that it was a real turkey (on the platter that is) and my intel -- corroborated by the New York Times no less -- was wrong.
Folks, I should have had Douglas Feith vet this critical piece of intel and set me straight. I apologize for all the suffering and death I've caused as a result of this erroneous information. It seems I toppled the wrong turkey.
So, just to be clear, it was the WMD that were fake and the turkey that was real. And if I knew then what I know now, I would not have written that post.
More Mail

This week's mail bag also contained lots of complaints directed at my op-ed in the Star Tribune about the NIE's "sobering" report on all things Iraq. The primary jab was that if "lefties" like me had been in charge during WW2, we'd all be speaking German now, and one writer charmingly suggested that I'd be a lampshade.
Well, my skin is probably way too thin for that, but the other problem with his reasoning is that due to my genetic line as a (formerly) blonde and (formerly) fecund blue-eyed female, I'd probably be assigned to the Aryan breeding corp, and frankly I'm not sure which I'd prefer.
But seriously folks, where did they get the idea that lefties are incapable of big wars and blowing things up? The arch-enemy of conservatives, the patron saint of the left, is FDR, and he was the Commander-in-Chief for most of WW2, including the invasion of Normandy on D-day. If our chicken-hawk-in-chief had been in charge of WW2 we would have tried to stop the very real threat of Hitler and the Nazis by invading the beaches of -- Iceland.
And for all of Shrub's fascination with Harry Truman, he's no Harry Truman. Harry was a Democrat, and Harry dropped the biggest bomb in the history of the world. (I'm not boasting about this.)
It was JFK who got us into Vietnam, LBJ who kept us there, Bush and Cheney who avoided going there, and cut-and-run Richard Nixon who got us out of there.
And we thought it was just war heros like Max Cleland and John Kerry who got slimed and swift-boated. Somehow they flipped that reality on us too.
The mail bag held other complaints, most making assumptions about my temperament, suggesting I'm -- well, the only one I'm comfortable repeating is --a depressive. And damn, it's true, the last six years and this heart-rending lie-induced war have brought me down. But I predict my spirits will soar in November, 2008. In fact, watching C-SPAN right now, the Senate debate on the surge resolution is doing wonders. Something about Ted Stevens and Mitch McConnell whimpering about being stuck in the Senate on a Saturday of a holiday weekend and the Democrats being non-partisan and unfair, is better than Zoloft, so the mail room is now closed.
Late breaking: Norm-sniff-the-wind-Coleman cast an aye vote on whether to move ahead on considering whether to vote on the House-passed anti-Surge resolution. Final tally not yet in. My the wheels of democracy turn at a break-neck speed.

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Anonymous (not verified) | February 17, 2007 - 3:18pm

Acting on what you thought was good information. Totally understandable.


susan | February 17, 2007 - 3:53pm

Thanks for understanding. To think of the troubles caused by the irresponsible liberal media passing this fake-turkey hoax off on all of us, the lives wasted, treasure squandered, national reputation tarnished. . . Well, as they say, when caught in flagrante, all you can do is apologize, apologize, apologize.


Babs (not verified) | February 17, 2007 - 4:24pm

You're missing the whole point. You cast aspersions on the turkey! Ruby Begonia is going to be really pissed about this.


Anonymous (not verified) | February 17, 2007 - 4:52pm

Al only eats with ugly broads!


Babs (not verified) | February 18, 2007 - 9:21am

Oh, honey, I hope you get that junior high GED soon!