Iraq according to Abizaid

November 15, 2006 by barbara

This just in from the New York Times, with between the lines analysis provided by LeftyMN.

Read on

General Says More Troops May Be Needed in Iraq

By DAVID STOUT

WASHINGTON, Nov. 15 '" The top American military commander in the Middle East raised the possibility today that more United States troops might be needed in Iraq, at least temporarily, to help that country's security forces and prevent the turbulent nation from tearing itself apart. (SURE GENERAL, HOW MANY DO YOU NEED? 20,000? 40,000? NO PROBLEM!)

"We have every option on the table," Gen. John Abizaid, the head of the United States Central Command, told the Senate Armed Services Committee. The general emphasized that any increases would be temporary and for the purpose of hastening the transition to Iraqi control of internal security. (WE MIGHT CONSIDER REPLACING AL-MALIKI WITH BORAT.)

Pressed by Senator Carl Levin of Michigan, the committee's ranking Democrat and soon to be chairman, on whether the American options might include lowering troop levels, he replied, "Yes, senator, it goes all the way from increasing our United States forces to withdrawing." (UH, GENERAL, DID YOU SEE THE RESULTS OF THE ELECTIONS LAST WEEK? THE ONES IN THE USA?)

But a bit later, under questioning from Senator John McCain, Republican of Arizona, General Abizaid said, "Under the current circumstances, I would not recommend troop withdrawals." The general said several times that setting specific timetables, as some Democrats have recommended, would be detrimental. (WAIT TILL I RETIRE TO WITHDRAW THEM SO IT DOESN'T HAPPEN ON MY WATCH.)

General Abizaid and David Satterfield, the State Department's coordinator for Iraq, told the committee that this moment in history is crucial for Iraq, and by extension the United States. (THE YEARS THAT HAVE PRECEDED THIS MOMENT IN HISTORY HAVE BEEN PRETTY MUCH IRRELEVANT) The new government and the Iraqi people must seize the opportunity to create a stable, peaceful country of their own, they said. (EXCUSE ME , DAVID, IT SEEMS THE SECURITY GUARD ON THE WAY IN CONFISCATED MY ZOLOFT AND I'M FEELING A LITTLE BIT ANXIOUS.)

General Abizaid, who warned recently that the country could slide into full-scale civil war (NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH THE LITTLE DUSTUPS TO THIS POINT) if sectarian violence continued, said that violence was still at an "unacceptable" level, but that it had subsided somewhat in recent weeks. (LET'S GIVE IT ANOTHER FRIEDMAN OR TWO.)

"I'm very encouraged by my recent trip," the general said, having just returned from Iraq. But he added, "I would not say we've turned the corner." (I WOULD SAY THE FOOD WAS GOOD ON THE FLIGHT OVER, BUT EVERYTHING WAS DOWNHILL AFTER THAT)

Mr. Satterfield offered a similar assessment. While testifying that "much more work remains, and the time for that work is now," Mr. Satterfield said, "We believe a successful path forward can still be forged in Iraq." (WE ALSO BELIEVE IN SANTA CLAUS AND THE TOOTH FAIRY.)

There was no suggestion that the number of American troops in Iraq, now about 140,000 to 150,000, would be cut sharply soon. For months now, lawmakers in both parties have called for 2006 to be "a year of transition," by which they meant bringing many troops home by year's end. (DAMN, WHERE IS MY ZOLOFT?)

General Abizaid almost provided some vindication for Gen. Eric Shinseki, the former Army chief of staff, who warned early in the Iraq campaign that several hundred thousand troops would be required to impose stability in Iraq once Saddam Hussein was overthrown. (GOSH, WHAT WAS THAT FALLING STATUE THING ALL ABOUT?)

"General Shinseki was right," General Abizaid said in response to a question by Senator Lindsey Graham, Republican of South Carolina. (RUMSFELD WAS A BASTARD!)

{SNIP}

Asked by Senator John W. Warner, the Virginia Republican who is about to step down as panel chairman, whether he had confidence in the Iraqi forces' ability to assume "more and more responsibility for the military options," (the) general (Abizaid) gave a carefully nuanced response. (ARE YA OUTTA YOUR FREAKING MIND???)

(ETC. . .)

Posted in

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