We've got trouble right here in river cities, with a capital T and that rhymes with B and that stands for Bush and Bachmann. George is coming to Minnesota tomorrow, ostensibly to talk about his health care plan for the peasants. But the real deal is a fundraiser for Michele Bachmann (pictured), the wild thing running for U.S. Congress in Minnesota's Sixth District. Think Katherine Harris lite. Smarter, meaner, eyebrows pretty much a draw.
It comes as no surprise that both the health care panel and the fundraiser are by-invitation-only events, closed to the general public. In spite of Bachmann's historic devotion to Bush, it's a tough time for Republicans to be linked closely to him.
I hear that Bachmann wrote a short note to George late last week. "Dear First Decider: About your Minnesota trip next week? I, ummmmm, I have a conflict. Yes. Tuesday is my day to squat in the bushes, pray at the Capitol and flee from gays. However, I understand that the invited guests to the fundraiser at the Wayzata mansion are prepared to pay $1,000 to avoid having their picture taken with you. End justifies the means and all that. Hugs. Michele."
Actually, I hardly know where to latch on to this particular beastie.
Shall we talk about the fact that for a couple of hours on Tuesday, the rest of the nation will be safe because Minnesota got the fuzzy end of the lollipop? We must grind to a standstill at our airport and on our already overburdened freeways to make room for George and Company.
Shall we talk about the most inaccessible, imperial, arrogant, condescending, media-phobic president since, oh, Calvin Coolidge? Kind of like Calvin Coolidge on steroids.
Or shall we talk about GOPeas in a pod as Bachmann positions herself to be a primary GOP rubber-stamper in Congress? (And yes, this does matter, because George has two more years in office. Read it and weep.)
The Star Tribune's Eric Black wrote this week that since Bachmann entered politics in 1999, she "has personified the conviction politician. She has put the most contentious social issues, such as legalizing gay marriage, which she strongly opposes, atop her agenda. She also stakes out positions that go beyond the conventional conservative line. And Bachmann describes those positions with clarity and in provocative, uncompromising rhetoric that thrills her supporters and horrifies her foes."
In other words, Bachmann has an articulate, nasty, homophobic, war-mongering mouth.
And lest you wonder whether the acorn falls far from the Bush, when Bachmann was asked what should happen if diplomacy failed to stop Iran's nuclear program, she said: "I think that at this point diplomacy is our option. And we certainly don't want to move toward a nuclear response any time soon or without an abundance of caution. Iran is at a point right now where America has to be very aggressive in our response. We can't remove any option off the table. And we should not remove the nuclear response. (Oy!) However, we must proceed with an abundance of caution. Because we know that Iran is very precarious. And I think we should take very seriously the threats coming out of Iran right now. But again, there are other nations including Venezuela that we need to keep our eyes on as well."
Chilling. Venezuela beware. Also Cuba. And possibly Portugal.
I warned you that this Bush/Bachmann liaison is a topic that explodes in multiple directions. The bottom line, for tomorrow anyway, is that 49 American states and the global community will be safe for a while as Bush and Bachmann will be sequestered here for part of the day.
God bless Minnesota. The rest of you will have to fend for yourselves tomorrow.