Monday morning laundry

July 10, 2006 by barbara

The following tidbit makes the internet rounds from time to time.

Given our unique niche as the communal clothesline, it seems particularly apt.

Notice: We do not hereby, either expressly or by implication, endorse Tide detergent. Reader discretion is advised. WARNING: Do not eat Tide. Do not put Tide in your ears. Do not snort Tide. Do not brush your teeth with Tide. Do not use Tide as a contraceptive. Do not mail Tide in plain brown envelopes.

Dear Makers of Tide Detergent:

I am writing to commend you on your excellent product! I've used it all of my married life, as Mom always told me it was the best. Now that I am a mature adult, I continue to believe her!

About a month ago, I spilled some red wine on my new white blouse. My husband got on my case yet again, telling me how clumsy and careless I am. He just went on and on.

One thing led to another and somehow I ended up with his blood on my new white blouse.

I grabbed my bottle of Tide with bleach alternative and, to my surprise and satisfaction, all of the stains came out. In fact, the stains came out so completely that the detectives who were here yesterday told me that the DNA tests on my blouse were inconclusive.

Then my attorney called to say that I am no longer a suspect in the disappearance of my husband. What a relief! Menopause is bad enough without being accused of murder!

Thank you again for your wonderful product. Well, gotta go. Have to write to the Hefty Bag people.

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Comments

TooLooze (not verified) | July 27, 2006 - 7:54pm

You aren't supposed to snort it? NOW you tell me.

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