Texas flu mingling with Alaska flu
I love pigs. The four legged cloven-hoofed kind, the Wilbur "Some Pig" kind, even the bacon kind. There is something so pleased-with- life-just-as-it-is about them --the boar with his low-rider balls swishing through the mud as he ruts for yummy stuff below, the sow sprawled on her side, piglets scrambling over her for the best teat. I know, it's the rare pig who lives that sort of life these days, but I'm a city girl and I like to pretend that until the click of the stun gun, my pork chop was having an A-OK sort of day. Read more. I get to Rick Perry, really.
So I'm really sorry that the flu epidemic coming our way has to be called Swine flu. Even if the virus did find some pig tissue to be just the right petri dish for gene swapping and rapid growth, and then leapt in a fleck of pig spittle into some unlucky pig farmer's nostril, thus setting off a chain reaction when that pig farmer went to market and, just moments after covering a whooshing sneeze with his hand, shook the hand of the dairy farmer, who rubbed his nose and then went home and kissed his wife. . . (Note to all. Wash your hands. A lot. Far more than you used to think you should.)
Anyway, I don't like to associate a potentially devastating disease with my idealized pig.
But then there are the two-legged, two-faced upright kinds of pigs who speak with cloven tongues. Gov. Rick Perry of Texas comes to mind. Only ten days ago at an anti-Obama "Tea party", Perry famously suggested that Texas might have to secede.
"I believe [the federal government] has become oppressive in its size, its intrusion into the lives of its citizens, and its interference with the affairs of our state," Perry declared.
Today, with three confirmed cases of Swine flu in his state, and a pandemic poised on his border, he's singing a different tune. He's asked the federal Center for Disease Control to provide Texas with 37,430 courses of anti-viral drugs, as a precautionary measure. As his website tells us, "The state is coordinating with the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services and the Department of Homeland Security (DHS)." What?? Those are tax-funded oppressive FEDERAL agencies, Rick.
The website also informs us that Gov. Perry has joined sponsors of a Texas House Resolution in support of states’ rights under the 10th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution.
So secede already. Take George Bush and the Alamo, Glenn Beck included, and don't let the door hit you on the way out. (But please leave us Austin.) And from now on, in defense of four-legged porkers everywhere, I'm going to call this the Rick Perry strain of the Texas flu. As you may recall, the George Bush strain nearly killed us. And without Molly Ivins around, there's no longer any antidote.