Open letter to an LA Times columner

May 25, 2006 by barbara

by barbara miller

Dear Jonah Goldberg:

You will notice that I salute you with the generic colon vs. the personal comma, thereby distancing you with one keystroke. A small but satisfying thing.

I just read your snarky little piece about Al Gore in Thursday's LA Times.

In one short screed, you offended people who think, people who are environmentally responsible, and France. Trifecta! And that's just for starters.

Let's review some of your targets du jour:

Pre-buyer's remorse for Hillary Clinton. Clever word play, though I doubt HillBilly will find it thus.

Gore boomlet. Mighty victories from little boomlets grow. Watch your back.

Liberal cognoscenti. Redundant, since cognoscenti are people who are knowledgeable, ergo, liberals. Well, we can't have knowledgeable people mucking about with the government, now can we? It would make George W. Bush look bad. Very bad, in fact. Perhaps you are advocating for conservative ignorati?

Apocalyptic environmental messianism. Zut alors! Presumably this refers to those who tell the truth about looming environmental catastrophe. And that is a problem how?

Just one Al Gore. Yes! There is a god, making all things new! Al Gore has recovered from his bout of Rovian flu, the principle symptom of which is motion sickness, precipitated by handler spin. He has come back to his true self.

Waiting for Godot. You misunderstood, Mr. Goldberg. What we said is that we are waiting for them to go! Republicans. All of them.

Adieu.

Posted in